So I'm kind of mad today.
I have this interesting relationship with my husband's parents. It's not that I actively dislike them, but I can honestly say I don't trust them at all. This stems from many, many things, not the least of which being major problems with money (they have always had enough, just mismanaged it so badly they had to ask Hub for money at many points), major problems with prescription drugs (use your imagination), my father-in-law's chain smoking and diabetes issues (I don't blame him for the diabetes of course, but I do blame him for not managing it and instead eating chocolate cake and drinking pepsi), and several other things. During the first year of our marriage Hub and I spent more time worrying about/taking care of their issues than our own, and it is amazing that we survived. Here is a fun thing: they offered to give us our honeymoon, which was to be a beautiful carribbean cruise, and initially we said no, that would be too much money, but they insisted. And then two weeks before we were to leave they told us they were sorry, but something had happened with the deposit check and we wouldn't be able to go. Unless of course we wanted to put it on our credit card and they would pay us back. Mmmm-hmmm. Right. In the end they worked it out and we did go on the cruise, but it was quite a circus. When we had been married just over a year I got pregnant with Daughter, and 9 weeks after that my brother-in-law rolled my father-in-law's car 7 times and broke his neck*. Earlier that day he'd found a loaded gun under the seat of the car.
I could tell you so much more but it would be the never-ending blog entry from hell and I don't want to go there. Suffice it to say they DRIVE US NUTS. Though they have managed to get it together to some degree over the past year or so, they still haven't rebuilt our trust.
Anyway, a few months ago when I initially found out I would be having this surgery, I gently informed my mother-in-law that Daughter would be staying with my parents when the time came for me to be in the hospital. I used excuses like the fact that they have the exact same crib we have so Daughter would be familiar with it, and that I felt being with my mother would be the most like being with me. I tried to stress that I don't want Daughter to be too disrupted (which is true). She was very agreeable and said she totally understood, though she has continued to mention how happy she would be to help out ever since then.
Fast forward to last night.
My mom sends me an email informing me that my mother-in-law called her to tell her that she would be happy to come to the house (my mom's house) and stay with Daughter so my mom could come to the hospital. Apparently she was quite pushy about it and made my mom uncomfortable. This is after Hub talked to her and let her know that we would be fine and really didn't need any more help that day. Ummm, excuse me?? Since when is it ok for her to just go right over our heads and decide what she is going to do with our child?? Thankfully my mom, who is the queen of tact, held her off. I was able to get Hub in on the situation and he let her know her assistance would not be needed on Wednesday - my mom never intended to come to the hospital anyway. The whole point of having my mom watch Daughter was to reduce my stress level. If she is with my mother I know exactly what her day and night will be like.
And seriously! What the hell?!? What is with doing that without checking with us?!? She has decided that we are "trying to be strong" but we're really scared and I probably want my mom with me at the hospital. No, not really, thanks. I want my husband at the hospital, and I want to know the most precious thing in my life is in good care at home with my mom. Cripes!
Dude. It probably doesn't sound like such a big deal when you read it here. But it is a big deal to me. Especially with all the BS they've put us through in the past. Dammit. I am so frustrated. I told Hub to call her and tell her she can come over on Friday and spend the day. He can visit with her and she can play with Daughter and I can rest. Really I'd like to tell her to F-off. But I'm sure that's just the anxiety and stress talking.
*Amazingly he walked out of the hospital less than a week later...with 2 cadaver bones and a plate in his neck, a broken wrist, and a bunch of stitches in his ear where the seatbelt had almost cut it off. Yep, he was one lucky dude.